So you’re the life of the party, a star performer at the workplace and can cook a mean steak dinner…but when it comes to your relationships you feel like a walking, talking wreck. Every step you take, every move you make seems just jarring…and somehow nothing ever goes the way you want it to.
The 7-Step Guide To Overcoming Relationship Insecurity
And in spite of repeated assurances from your partner, you just can’t shake the feeling that you’re just not enough. Not pretty enough, not slim enough, not smart enough; the list goes on. And the more you think about this, the more you feel that one fine day you’re gonna wake up and find him gone.
But often, this very feeling of insecurity can lead you down the path that you are so desperate to avoid. Repeatedly doubting yourself can lead to your partner actually drawing away from you; thus making your worst fears come true.
So, while a certain amount of insecurity is only natural, here’s a seven step (lucky, right!) guide to help you overcome that sinking feeling, and get your relationship on the right track.
Step 1: Don’t Blame Yourself
First off: don’t blame everything on yourself. Insecurities can often pop up out of nowhere, and don’t need to have a logical reason. So stop trying to find someone to blame it on and instead focus on finding the actual cause of your insecure feeling. That’s what the next point deals with.
Step 2: Self Examine
The cause of most insecurity is fear. Fear of being alone, fear of not living up to expectations, and fear of fear itself. However, you need to examine your insecurities to find out whether they are rooted in rationality or just arising from your fears. Once you realize which, it’s easy to tackle them head on.
Step 3: Involve Your Partner
Often your dominant tendency can be to avoid revealing your insecurities to your partner. This is exactly the opposite of what you should actually be doing. Instead of trying to hide, keep your partner in the loop by explaining your feelings, and work towards resolving them together.
Step 4: Put Your Positives First
Most likely, your insecurities stem from what you perceive as negatives about yourself. To counter this feeling, make sure to focus on your positive attributes first. No matter how small, make sure that you have a list of all your better qualities and remember to remember them when you are feeling down in the dumps.
Step 5: Boost Your Confidence
See, we keep coming back to you! Insecurities can be directly tied to your lack of self-confidence and the urge to underestimate yourself. Give yourself a break; not everything is your fault. Instead, celebrate even the smallest accomplishments with your partner to make sure that you harbor a good opinion about yourself. Often, the best results come from thinking yourself the best!
Step 6: Be You
Don’t compare and contrast your life with that of others; actually, social media is responsible for creating a narcissistic notion of well-being, and we tend to forget our real lives in envy of social likes. Take a break from social media, spend time with your partner, and enjoy real life.
Step 7: Seek Professional Help
At the end, if all else fails, you should talk with a professional who can provide you with an unbiased viewpoint on your insecurities and how you can overcome the same.
Relax! Relationship insecurities appear, but can also be overcome. By following our seven-step guide, you can pave the way to your dream relationship that is just the way you like it!